Here are some tips for the men out there that really have no clue how to dress. I will preface this post with a few details. I am a classy guy and as such, I dress in a classic manner. If you are one of those new hipsters that wear things that were in style 10 years ago, or that will be in style a decade from now; you may not agree with some of these points. Some general rules that should be followed are detailed below:

Top 10 inches and bottom 10 inches should be perfect. This means you should have nice shoes, and polish them if necessary. Do not neglect this area. The top section should show off your strengths. If you can grow facial hair and pull it off, then do so. However this will either ruin your image or help it, and the line is very fine. So, when in doubt, shave it all off and look clean. Remember to actually brush your hair and style it if you like, but this isn’t the time to revert to childhood and spike it all up. At the same time this is an area where you can separate yourself from everyone else and do your hair different from the current norm of society.

From Faux Pas to Success

• If your dress pants are too long and they drag on the floor you need to hem them. If they are too short and your socks show, then you either need to shrink in size or buy new pants; I suggest the latter of the two for safety issues. Your dress pant cuff should stop just above the heel of your shoes. You should wear pants that fit. Your pants should sit on your waist and not on your hips. You are not a woman so there is no need to accentuate your hips.

• You should not wear shirts or sweaters that are too large. If you can swim inside of your shirt then its time to donate it to goodwill or throw it into the back of your closet until you gain more weight (not advised). Your shirts should fit well in the shoulder and the hemline should end where your shoulders do. Custom shirts are recommended but for the baller on a budget, I suggest fine retail establishments. You should know what those are, and if not, ask someone who dresses well.

• Frayed jean bottoms from the result of buying jeans for someone who is six inches taller than you, is never a good idea. This will cause the jeans to deteriorate and look trashy. If you want to look like those idiots from high school that still work at the grocery store, then by all means do not follow my suggestion; but remember social suicide is not going to help your self-esteem.

• Do not wear baggy jeans. Period. 1995 called, and they want their JNCO’s back. This style went out long ago and should never be revived. Stop trying to look like you can hide someone in there and get some jeans that fit you.

• Wear a belt - always. No exceptions. Your pants have belt loops for a reason, and they are not there to stick your fingers through when you are trying to look cool while your standing. Also you should never wear a brown belt with black pants or vise versa; unless of course you want to look like a fool. If so then by all means, go join the circus and wear big floppy shoes while you are at it. Further more, your belt should never be used to hold any number of gadgets. I do not care how cool or popular you think you are, it has never been a style to hold your phone, planner, calculator, et cetera on your belt. Tim the Toolman wore his tools on a tool belt. If your belt were meant to hold things it would be called a tool belt so stop trying. One last note about belts; if you wear one, do not wear suspenders. In fact if your pants have belt loops, don’t even wear suspenders.

• Wear shoes that match your belt color. This should be a cardinal rule of dress for men. Do not wear a black belt and brown shoes or vice versa. Pretty simple.

• Wear socks that match your pants. If you are wearing black pants, then you wear black socks; if you wear khaki pants then you wear brown socks. If you are wearing jeans with tennis shoes, then wear athletic socks. I recommend ankle socks if you are going to wear tennis shoes; it just looks better. This does not mean your socks have to be bland though. If you are wearing dress socks and don’t want the plain look, then wear some argyle socks that match your dress shirt.

• Under no circumstances should you ever wear a necktie with a polo shirt. I am just throwing this in here in case anyone thought it was a good idea. I have seen this done a few times and I have always looked at the person with disgust. Do not do this, ever!

• Turtlenecks have been out of style for as long as hickeys have been. If you want to look like your grandma then by all means, wear a turtleneck. They do not make your neck look shorter if that’s the look you are going for. If anything turtlenecks are just plain tacky and ugly.

• Dress pants should never come in the pleated variety, Ever! Flat front is the standard and has been for quite some time. If you want to look like your dad and his buddies who go golfing on Sundays, then wear pleated pants, but it is your social funeral that you will be attending.

• When you wear a suit coat you should make sure the cuff of the sleeves stops just short of the cuff of your shirt, to show a bit of it. Furthermore, you should always leave the bottom button of your suit coat unbuttoned. Never button more than three buttons on your suit jacket and buttoning one is just fine. When seated, all of your buttons should be loosened on the front of your suit coat unless it is double-breasted. When standing and walking the buttons should be attached.

• Your tie should never be a clip on. You left the days of clip on ties when you graduated from grammar school and these days you need to tie your tie. If you do not know how to then learn from a friend, dad, or the Internet. The bottom of your tie should stop at the top of your belt when you stand up strait. It should never fall bellow your belt and it should never rest above your belt. Also, unless you want to look like a creepy salesman or a Radio Shack employee, you should avoid any sort of design on your tie such as Santa Claus, palm trees, flags of any sort, or objects like keyboards or guitars.

• If you are wearing an undershirt, which sometimes you definitely should, then it should never be worn for anything other than an undershirt under your dress shirts. This is not an area to skimp on and buy the cheapest thinnest undershirt you can find. Get something that is good quality at a fine retail store. Also never use graphic t-shirts as undershirts especially when you are wearing a white or other light colored dress shirt. Everyone will see right through your dress shirt and see whatever graphic is under there.

• Iron your shirts and pants. You could be perfectly dressed, but if you show up in a wrinkled shirt and pants then you might as well have dressed like a 15 year old who is getting dragged to church by the ear of his mother.